R74, 000 - and some - says we are really sorry -- once

READERS of South African daily newspapers this morning would have been so pleased to see a full-page, full colour advertisement placed by BP, saying how "really sorry" the company was that some BP service stations had ran out of fuel during the recent strike. Hang on. What is BP apologising for here (at great cost to its shareholders)? Surely the trade union that launched the strike should be doing the apologising, not the company, which, after all, was the victim. If BP thinks this advertisement is going to make motorists feel warm and cuddly, they must be living in a different world from Spigot. For one thing, if it costs more than R74, 000 to place just one of these ads, heaven knows what the total expenditure for the campaign must be. For another, whoever wrote the copy needs lessons in basic English. Commas are missing where they should be and commas are inserted where they are not needed. Saying," Welcome back!" when the whole tenure of the ad is that things are not yet back to normal seems odd, too. As for:" We know you may not recently have been able to find BP Ultimate easily, but rest assured, you will feel the full benefits of using BP Ultimate again very soon". Aaaaaaaah!

CABINET SENSE ON NUKES AND PIPELINES

THE Cabinet has approved a draft nuclear energy policy and it will be published for public comment. Spigot can hardly wait. He hopes that in among the ritual obeisance to the holy cows of security, climate change, greenhouse gas emissions, black empowerment, employment equity, and so on, there will be a firm decision to embrace nuclear power as essential for this country's future prosperity. Oh, and by the way, tucked away at the bottom of a report on this Cabinet decision, published by Engineering News (for which we should all thank heaven for its existence) was this: "The development of Petronet’s new multi-products pipeline between Durban and Johannesburg was also approved." Can this be true? If so, how will it affect the iPayipi Consortium's plans? Will PetroSA also soon reveal its plans for another pipeline? Could we have three new pipelines from Durban to the Reef before 2010? Will miracles happen? Another thought: If we do get three Durban-Reef fuel pipelines, will we need road fuel tanker drivers plying the same route? Recent strikers please note.

Pinky promises

JUST for the Spigot record: In April this year, Petroline SA director Pinky Moabi said: "We hope that fuel prices will drop in Mpumalanga and some parts of Gauteng, because we will be getting fuel directly from the coast of Mozambique, and we know that fuel prices are lower on the coast than in inland cities.” "We hope"? Note also that she said," we know that fuel prices are lower on the coast than in inland cities". Gee, how observant. Does she also know that the fuel prices are regulated by the Department of Mineral and Energy so that prices inland are not too high? In other words, building a pipeline is not going to automatically reduce prices inland. Spigot records Pinky's words of wisdom, not to dampen enthusiasm on this Women's Day, but so we can revisit this little gem when the Petroline pipeline is completed in 2009 ( according to another Pinky promise).

Deepest gratitude to CEPPWAWU " - what on earth for?

"HEAVEN alone knows why Advocate Rams Ramashia, non-executive chairman of BP Southern Africa and joint chairman of the Sapref Refinery, should feel the need to "express (his) deepest gratitude to both CEPPWAWU and the National Petroleum Employers Association (of which he is himself a member!) for achieving an amicable resolution to the wage dispute" . This dispute left the country's industry and motorists short of fuel these last two weeks and wasted a great deal of money Even if Ramashia's statement is part of the usual diplomatic mumbling that takes place on such occasions, the facts are that union members have only gained about a 1% increase above what they were originally offered. In the process they have lost pay, two refineries have been shut down for a week and the costs to the country have been enormous. Until the refineries are up and running again," we will rely on imports" as yet another spokesman for BP pointed out. Hum. So foreign exchange will be spent on making up the difference. Refinery workers will work overtime (at more cost) to get up to speed again. And no doubt private road transporters will have to be employed to do the work of hauling fuel ie the jobs of the workers who struck. Deepest gratitude to CEPPWAWU indeed! The Law of Unintended Consequences looms into view once more. What if it is cheaper to use outside contractors to haul fuel? What does that do for your job security, oh CEPPWAWU big wigs? BP has the largest number of trucks and drivers in the industry from all accounts. Not for long, Spigot predicts. Aristocrats of labour better put their thinking caps on.

Strike settled but on what terms?

Our media have done a pretty poor reporting job on the recent strike by unionised employees of the oil companies. As usual, the unions got the lion's share of the space and air time. As usual, the oil company spokespersons were picked off, one by one. As usual, the oil industry employers' negotiators were left high and dry without communication support. Even pump jockey's were interviewed on the subject, which must be a mark of media desperation. Only Engineering News came up with anything like a report on the terms of the settlement, beyond the astounding fact that the minimum wage will now be R4000 a month, plus the perks and benefits that go with working for an oil company. The parties agreed on an 8,5% wage increase backdated to July 1. A joint working group for employers and workers will be established within 90 days ( to do what?) Maternity leave will be revised ( female pump jockeys are still rare in Spigot's experience). There will be double pay for "continuous workers"on public holidays, and an extra two hours of remuneration for continuous workers. Quite what a "continuous worker" is precisely, we do not know. ( Spigot readers, please send details, if you know them). What we do know is that the aristocrats of labour have triumphed once more.

Now the pump jockeys want to strike

NOW the union to which some petrol pump attendants belong want to go on strike. What a dreadful blow to South African motorists! No more sitting in your car while the fuel sloshes into your tank. You will have to sully your hands and man the pump yourself, just like motorists do just about everywhere else in the world! Question: Will pumping your own gas make you a scabby striker breaker? Spigot is breathless with anticipation as the Law of Unintended Consequences inevitably unfolds. Pump jockeys, whether they know it or not, are working in protected employment. Since each of the 40,000 attendants support at least five other family members, self-service at petrol stations is forbidden. A strike will therefore adversely affect 200 000 people. Not that the unions care a fig about that, of course. Pump attendants may think they are employed by the oil companies but they are not. They are employed by the service station operator who -- by law -- cannot be an oil company employee, but must be an independent business. (This is to protect small businesses from being swallowed up by nasty old big oil). Again, the unions "representing" attendants, do not try and disabuse them of a belief that wearing a Shell forecourt uniform makes you an employee of Shell. Now that the unionised employees of the oil companies have won an increase to their not inconsiderable salaries, the unions are going to try and do the same trick with pump attendants. It will be interesting to see what happens. Will the Minister of Mineral and Energy step in again? Will this mean the end to full-service forecourts? Will sanity prevail? Will pigs fly?

Sasol 1. Sonjica 0

The complete about-turn by the government in applying windfall taxes to Sasol and PetroSA has a distinct hum of deal about it. Spigot reckons that it went something like this: Pat Davies: Minister, if you tax us, we won’t build another refinery, we won’t give you any so-called assistance, we won’t invest anything anywhere and 2010 can go to hell. Sonjica (Thinks): Oh shit. I think he knows about the projected 5 billion litre shortfall next year. Also the PetroSA guys are breaking down the Tuynhuys door trying to persuade Thabo to fire me. He’s got me by the curlies. Better do a deal. Sonjica ( to Pat Davies) Pat, look at it this way. We won’t tax you but can you please help us to build another refinery. We’ll pay for it and leave you alone for ever after and you can do what you like. Pat Davies: Sounds good to me, but lets tell the public that we’ll both pay for it. Spins more like Win –Win that way. Sonjica (On the phone): Trevor, these are tough, ruthless guys. For God’s sake retract anything you said so far about windfall taxes. I’ve done a really favourable deal. It will sound like we’ve twisted their arm. Get ready to spend R11 billion tax rands quick to build another refinery. The Moral: Richard “Tricky Deals” Nixon said: “When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow” Question: Who’s balls? Answer: Our tax balls – again.

Unions 1 Petroleum Industry 0

One Alf Ngobo, who purportedly represents the Petroleum Industries Employers Association, was on TV this morning offloading a palpable sense of relief that the strike is finally over but that motorists could still expect some pain while the refineries crank up again. Hurrah. That selfsame bunch of industry negotiators let half the country run dry with their dilly-dallying. Its time that some professionals took over this kind of negotiation, and at least let everyone know what was going on. So we would not have the SABC interviewing only strikers, unionists and petrol attendants who at best were one-sided and at worst, stiflingly boring .

Oil industry minimum wages

THE minimum wage of unionised members of the petroleum industry will go up to R4000 a month if the wage offer of the National Petroleum Employers’ Association is accepted. It doesn't seem a great deal though there are some secretaries who would be glad of such a salary. What is often forgotten is that this R4000 is the minimum scale and there are very few union members actually paid that little. Also ignored are the perks that go on top -- interest free loans for education, for example.

Ask a pump jockey

THE Bulgarian-trained newshounds who now run the SABC news departments have come up with a new slant on how to drag information out of the oil industry -- ask a pump attendant. Those who had the misfortune to tune into SAFM on Sunday ( yesterday0 for the one o'clock news would have heard an earnest reporter engaged in quizzing a BP service station attendant on the shortages of fuel caused by the strike of various unions in the industry clamouring for an increase in their already generous wages. What is interesting about this is that the SABC clearly has no idea that in South Africa petrol attendants are not employed by the oil companies but by the service station operators who, by law, are not allowed to be owned and managed by the oil companies. ( Self service is also banned to protect attendants' jobs). The joke is that any comments by pump attendants are totally irrelevant and hardly qualify as news. Not that our radio hacks care, of course. Mind you, as Spigot has often commented, the oil industry's congenital secrecy is partly to blame.